Medications, Anxiety, and Doctor Problems

Annoyed!!!!!!!!!

 So, as I explained, one of my major anxieties is about taking new medications and having an uncontrollable urge to look up all the possible side effects for any given medication. Through a lot of trial, error, and plain old pushing myself, I have been able to take medications if I need them, though not without much consternation. Anyway, I have been battling asthma and chronic sinusitis since I was a child. Recently, after a horrible cold, I developed bronchitis with acute asthma exacerbation.  What does this mean? Well, in the simplest terms it means I can't breathe the way I should be and I have been sick for over a month. Now, I see an allergist who also moonlights in asthma therapy. He put me on this steroid inhaler at the highest dosage allowed ( I used to take this a long, long, time ago at a much smaller dose and never had issues. ) He also prescribed an antibiotic called Doxycycline, along with taking my rescue inhaler as needed. You should know that my rescue inhaler is not well tolerated by my system, and has given me many a panic attack even at only 1 puff . I just recently got this doctor to agree with me that this inhaler, Albuterol, causes anxiety in some people!  I digress. I have been taking this steroid inhaler and lo and behold, 30 minutes after I had a huge, monster panic attack. My logical conclusion was, it has to be the inhaler, the dose must be too high for me to tolerate. There must be a connection. I took it again at the same dose the following night, and wham, it happened again. The antibiotics also make me incredibly dizzy, nauseous, anxious, and I just feel weird.

   So, I did what any normal person would do. I contacted my doctor and told him flat out, "I think this inhaler is too strong for me at this high of a dose and the antibiotics are making me feel terribly ill. Please can you switch me to an antibiotic that I tolerate better. I can't deal with this for 10 days. What can we do?" He was not too sympathetic and responded " Well, keep taking the antibiotics they are fine for you and remember it is not the inhaler medicine or the pills that is causing the panic attacks, it's you.You will need to work that out in therapy. Space out your puffs if you want to. " Through my research, ( you know I had to!) I found out that steroid inhalers can cause panic attacks and so too can the antibiotics. Now, I'm stuck spreading the doses of the inhaler out to 2 puffs every 4 hours and taking the dreaded antibiotic and puking my guts up. Being totally rebuffed when all a doctor has to do is read a little is very disheartening. I am aware I have issues, but, I am also aware when there is a direct correlation. By the way, spacing out the puffs has not helped. I'm considering just getting a new asthma doctor, but that brings me to another dilemma.

  I have an issue with some doctors and let me tell you, with an anxiety disorder as bad as I have it, I have seen a lot. There is a huge bias with doctors toward people with anxiety and panic disorders. If for example, you get desperate enough to go to the emergency room for a panic attack, you might be met with a lot incredulous looks, a lot of " Calm Downs", and you might feel that you were stupid for even showing up. This has been my experience a lot of the time, that I'm not welcome there because my emergency doesn't count. They give you an Ativan, leave you alone for a couple hours, and come back and say " That wasn't so bad, see you didn't die." As if saying that is reassuring to anyone and is not condescending. I have had positive experiences don't get me wrong, but most have left me feeling terribly guilty for wasting their time. Hell, I felt like I was dying and I came to you guys for help!! I can't always tell and isn't the adage " Better safe than sorry?" Another, more recent example, is when I went to urgent care this month when I first suspected I had something more than just a cold. I was explaining to the doctor that all this coughing and shortness of breath made me feel anxious and was triggering for me. He actually told me " Well, why are you doing that? Don't be anxious! Simple as that!" HUH? EXCUSE ME? DID THAT JUST COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH?! I felt so insulted I actually corrected him and told him that saying that to someone with an anxiety disorder is like chastising a diabetic for a blood sugar rise. It is the nature of the beast. Trust me, if I could stop it, I would. Believe me! I'm coming to you for help, not your half-assed attempt at schooling me disguised as bad humor.

  I don't want to be made to feel that my anxiety is just something I can will away, something I must be doing wrong, and then have any medical problem chalked up to my "issues that need dealing with in therapy." Why is it okay for me to have medication induced panic attacks and then be ignored when I ask for simple doctoring? I have enough of them on my own without any help. Why is it perfectly fine for me to be discounted?  If a regular person complained about a medication and asked for advice, the doctor would at least hear them out. But, because I have anxiety, it is written off, as if I can't tell what is happening in my own body and it's just my own little problem in my head. I also feel that a lot of doctors do not know that many common medications do cause anxiety. Pharmacists do not know this either, because if you ask what are the side effects for Doxycycline, for example, they will tell you nausea and diarrhea, when anxiety is one of the top most reported ones! So, I wonder, do I continue being my own personal whistle blower if I keep getting shot down? Sometimes doctors act like they are so high and mighty, when they are only "practicing" medicine.