Stigma and Breaking the Silence

stig·ma

ˈstigmə/

noun

noun: stigma; plural noun: stigmata; plural noun: stigmas

1.

a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person.

  It is hard for most people to feel compassion for or understand someone with an invisible illness. Mental illness can range from anxiety disorders, mood disorders, psychosis, eating disorders, impulse control disorders, personality disorders, etc. There are many different types, some more visible than others. Mental illness has a huge stigma in this country and throughout the world. Having a mental illness can be seen as a character flaw, a moral failing, a failing of the person's parents, laziness, attention seeking behavior, a punishment from a higher power, possession, etc. A lot of individuals are afraid to say they have a mental illness because they fear the reactions of the friends, family, or society at large.

  Most of the time, people do not know you have a mental illness unless you tell them. Then, once you work up the courage to tell, you get reactions varying between " Oh my god, I am so sorry!", "My so and so friend from blahblah felt anxious/crazy/depressed/whatever a lot and it was no big deal.", "You? No way!", "No wonder you are so ( insert adjective here) all the time", "You just need to relax and calm down.", " Please don't tell me, I can't deal with you.", " You know, my Grandpa Rick was schizophrenic and he killed himself.", " I don't want you near me or my children.",  "Will this affect your job performance?", " Are you going to hurt or kill yourself?!", "Does this run in your family? Can you give it to your kids?", "You are taking medication? Don't you know what that can do? Why aren't you treating it naturally?!", "Stop doing that! Control yourself!", " Stop going to the doctor all the time, it's all in your head!", " You aren't better yet?!", " Just snap out of it!", " But, everything is going so well for you."... with all these reactions it is no wonder that someone wouldn't want to talk about about their issues.

   This causes there to be shame and secrecy. There is shame in having a mental illness and needing help to control it and feeling that you must hide the fact from people. There is also shame in seeking help at all. So, you sit at home with your problems and that turns into bigger problems. You might isolate yourself from family, friends, and community. You might even refuse to get any sort of assistance at all and try to deal with it on your own.

  Stigma from friends and family often rears it's ugly head.  You might be afraid to tell your family because they might not understand what is going on, especially if they are older or from a different culture. Nobody wants to feel like the black sheep. If you do tell anyone, you fear hearing the stereotype that you can't change or refuse to and you are going to be like this forever. You will become The Old Crazy Lady/Man that lives with a million cats and doesn't have a job and mooches from public assistance. Some people might fear that you will become a criminal or violent and use your mental illness as an excuse. You might be accused of being lazy, attention seeking, pathetic, hard to talk to, sad, leaching, lying, etc. You might even be told that you can stop it if you want to, you aren't trying hard enough. You fear being ostracized, blamed, and made fun of.

  Stigma in society might find you in some of these ways: applying for disability and being denied, not having access to proper medical care that normal people have, a lack of funding for mental health awareness and treatment, doctors who try to discount your experience and not wanting to deal with you, media viewing mental illness as something comedic, not being allowed to participate in certain activities, losing your job/ not getting picked for a promotion/ not getting a job at all, not being able to get housing, being avoided, etc.

   Stigma comes from a lack of education and silence. I want you to know... It is okay to have a mental illness. It is okay to need and to seek help. It is okay to take medication. It is okay to feel the way you feel. It is not your fault and never was. As a person, you have the right to proper medical care, caring friends and family, compassionate doctors, fair employment, disability money, inclusion in groups and activities, fair portrayal in media sources, adequate mental health treatment, housing, respect, and dignity. Come out and tell people what is going on. Do not hide behind your fear, use it. Educate others and you might find that you can change the reaction you receive.

  For friends and family, learn about mental illness, research the diagnosis, support the person, help the person plan for treatment or intervention, be proud for any improvement, do not chastise or blame yourself or the person, be encouraging, don't label or judge, don't discriminate, be understanding about treatment goals and time, control your temper and understand that it is not always the person but a symptom of their disorder, congratulate the person for being brave enough to seek help and confiding in you, talk openly about mental illness with others, do not be embarrassed to have a mentally ill friend or family member, and always follow the golden rule.. treat others the way you want to be treated...who knows you might one day be in their shoes.