Relearning to Relax

Over the course of my battle against Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder, I have lost my ability to relax. I don't mean sleep, which I have trouble doing also, I mean just loosen up and be calm in the now. I feel like I am constantly on edge and my mind is going a mile a minute. I don't think there is ever time where I don't have an intrusive thought. I wonder what it is like to just have nothing going on in your mind,  feel good in the now, and just be? The only place I ever come near it is in the bathtub.
 

I am learning a lot of new techniques to try to regain this lost art. Apparently, relaxing is good for you. Go figure, me who is so scared of health issues is too wound up to do something that is good for her. I have tried meditation, but I can never visualize properly. I end up feeling silly because I can never get to that place that you are supposed to get. That quiet, silent place evades me. I have tried listening to hypnosis apps on my Iphone before sleep, and well, I can't sleep with the constant blabbering. I have tried sound machines to the same effect, it keeps me awake or I get annoyed by the noise.

 Here is what I want to try: aromatherapy, massage, accupuncture, reiki, energy healing, diet, biofeedback, herbalism, zen meditation, breathing techniques, yoga, naturopathic medicine, touch therapy, craniosacral therapy, chiropractic therapy, guided imagery, tai chi, yogic breathing, reflexology, traditional Chinese medicine,  talk therapy, 12 step programs, etc. As you can see, I am really desperate enough to want to try  alternative methods. I guess I am at the point where I am hungry to be a functioning person again.

 So far, I have found a place to learn zen meditation, signed myself up for a mental yoga class, found out about nearby emotions anonymous meetings, and joined some groups on meetup.com.